Early Bird Special - and a Two for the price of One!

So my title sounds like an advertisement for IHOP.

I used to be a morning person. Or at least I thought I was a morning person. Until I met Arthur, who is a true blue, no doubt about it, early bird. 

I like to think my son is special. "Special"- special. You know what I mean. 

No really, I kid. He's a perfectly normal, rambunctious boy. It's just, he's not really a big fan of sleep. 

And I am. 

I remember being an early bird myself when I was younger. I just couldn't wait to get out of bed and start doing something. I especially loved the quiet house -- knowing that the world was my oyster! Well, the house was my oyster. My big, quiet, all to myself oyster. 

Arthur, on the other hand, likes to get up early and make sure that the rest of the house is up too. He doesn't just snuggle up to you and whisper in your ear until you gently come back from dreamland. No no no. He screeches from his room (and lately, comes out of his room to bring the screeching to our room.) and rips you violently from your peaceful slumber. It's jarring and unsettling and heart-poundingly awful. My first thoughts always revolve around calling 911 and emergency rooms. I'm serious! It always seems like something horrible and terrifying has happened. So of course we panic, jump out of bed, run to his side, hold his sweet face in our hands and plead with him to tell us what's wrong. Who has done this to you child?> And do you know what he says? Do you know what he wants?? One (or all) of three things. Milk, cartoons, or to play. 

In all honesty, it's annoying. Straight up, I'm sayin' it. ANNOYING. 

I imagine other mothers and how they'd react. "Oh you sweet thing! Thank heavens there's nothing wrong? Oh, I was so worried! Of course! Of course! You can have whatever you want! Oh! So funny that he screamed like that when he just wanted something so simple! Sweet boy just tell me next time! Ha ha ha!" 

My reaction? "Arthur, it's sleeping time. No, you may not watch cartoons or play. You can have milk if you go back to sleep. For the love of everything I hold dear in this cruel world GO BACK TO SLEEP!"

Some people have big dreams for themselves: Musician, scholar, doctor, pilot, business owner, etc etc.  Me? I aspire to being well rested. Since having little Liza, sleep has become a long lost relative. You know, the one you see at family gatherings talking to everyone else, having a good time, but never to grace your doorstep again.  Maybe you had an argument, a falling out, something that keeps you apart. But whatever it is, you have little hope that the two of you will make amends. Oh, you'll be polite when you need to be -- say your hellos and how-do-you-do's. Make small talk. But the deep stuff is a memory at best. This is what sleep is to me. 

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So let's talk blogs. My friend Jana said once that she hates the word "blog". Like, "So I blogged today! I'm such a blogger! Blogging is sooo awesome!" That's how I imagine she thinks of it. But seriously, let's have a little heart-to-heart. 

When I first had the idea of this place -- (I like to call it that. Makes me feel like I've invited you all to my secret getaway cabin on the beach. Because we all have one of those.) -- So back to what I was saying: When I first had the idea of this place, I really felt like it was important to do. Not that I'm trying to take myself super seriously and say I'm going to have a huge impact. I really think the person who will benefit from this the most is me. But I felt like I was being urged to do it. You can imagine it flowed a lot smoother in my mind. I'd get it started up, begin  posting like a mad woman, and people would respond with cheers of excitement. I had so many posts planned out in my mind. Then I wrote that first post and since then, I've had nuthin'. I think I look around too much at what other people are doing. It's not that I want to do what they're doing, it's just I've been looking for some inspiration. In the wake of my search, I have found a bit of discouragement. 

First thing to learn about me -- the me you're going to really know here, the me that I don't like to admit exists -- I'm easily discouraged. I think parenthood has concentrated it. So here I am, feeling like I need to make this blog, and then I'm looking around and everyone else has it nailed. Why even do it? It's been a bit of a mental battle for me. 

This is what I've concluded: This blog - this thing - is for me. Whatever it is. I'm a total people pleaser, so this is hard for me to do. What I do here is for me. And I hope, genuinely hope that you can gather something from it. And I just want you to know that if you don't love it, it's ok. You can go to one of those other blogs where it's more interesting, where they post tutorials and recipes and pictures of their exciting lives. I'm not saying I won't do those things eventually. That's part of the experiment, to see where this goes. I just really want this blog to be a place where I can be honest and open and real about who I am and what I feel deeply about.

Okay, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I feel much better. 

Have a great day!

Jen