Welcome to the 'Hood - Beta Edition

This moment is a little scary.

The first words to be spilt on the page. What do I say? I've had this idea brewing in my mind for months now. "I know! A blog for Moms!"

My originality is staggering, I know.

It's comical that I've endeavored to start a "Mommy blog" (as I like to call them). There are hundreds! Maybe thousands of them out there. And all of them ring the same truths: Motherhood is hard. Amazing, but hard. Joyful, but hard.. More than hard, for some of us, it's our greatest challenge. Yes, being a Mom brings us joy and warms our hearts. (I gagged a little after typing that.) We just love nibbling on those little cheeks that say "I love you" sweeter than anyone else. And at night, when their little eyes droop into carefree slumber, we love to stare at that angelic little face and feel our hearts swell with love - endless, unconditional love.

I've waited my whole life for this, after all. Everyone said it was going to be wonderful, being a mom. They said there's nothing like it when you carry that defenseless little creature for 9 months, then all that pain which leads to so much happiness. And then holding that baby for the first time -- there's nothing like holding that baby for the first time. How they lick those tiny lips, and hold onto your fingers with so much trust. How they can sleep and sleep and sleep, only to eat and poop then sleep again. And they said it would be hard, but did I listen? Nooooo. I just wanted to hold that baby for the first time.

And so here I am, married for four years, three pregnancies later, and two kids under the age of three. Life couldn't be better.

Or could it?

Don't get me wrong, being a mom is exactly what I want to be doing with my life. It's here. It's right now. And I'll take all of it -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. The unexpected kisses, the exploding poopy diapers,the smiles, the all night marathons between crying baby and crying toddler, the marital ups and downs, the never ending list of needs that must be met every day, the depression, the discouragement, the love of my family, all of it.

But for me, there is something to be desired still. An empty hole waiting to be filled. By what? I toyed with the idea of going back to school. But how would we make it work? And let's be honest, I don't want to go to work. Not unless it was something I truly enjoyed, and to do that I'd need to have my degree, so we're back to the school idea. Not to mention, going back to school and/or work would mean leaving the children. So scratch that. At least for now. So what then?

And then it started to come to me, bit by bit. And it starts here. Writing down my truest feelings about being a mom. Motherhood uncensored, uncut. 

And that's where "you" come in. Whoever you are. You might be one person, or ten. I certainly don't aspire to being one of those popular blogs with giveaways and facebook pages. Would it be fun? Of course it would! It would also be a lot of pressure, which is why for now, at least for a while, I am happy and content with being a small town operation. And where do you fit in? You read, and if you feel comfortable, you share your insights too. My hope is that somewhere along the way, someone  is inspired or uplifted or reassured that life as they know it is okay. The bumps are only temporary, and that we can be pretty stinking happy if we try.

I hope you'll forgive me for using this blog on occasion as a dumping ground for pent up feelings of anger, discouragement, frustration, and sometimes depression. Because after all, life in the 'Hood ain't always pretty.

Now for the real fun to begin!
Until our next rendez-vous,

All the best,
Jen

A Note - There's going to be a lot of construction going on around here, so please excuse the proverbial mess.  I am really excited to spruce up the place but it won't happen all at once. Thanks for your patience!